Joy
by Creecree
Summary: Harry wants Draco to stay.


**NOTICES** The Harry Potter empire belongs to JK Rowling. This is merely a work of imaginative fiction based on the series. This contains M/M, D/H. Read at own discretion.

**MORE NOTICES** This is an experiment(for myself) as I'm trying to work out a serious sort of fic, that hopefully turns out chaptered and longer than usual. You will notice the lack of humour and the normal banter that I give to Draco/Harry. Please review this, I will definitely need it this time. Thanks.

**Joy**

'Tell me something Draco,'

Draco turns to look at Harry who is lying out spread eagle on the grass, with just the right amount of cold to tinge his cheeks red.

'Draco?'

'Hmm?'

'Did you hear me the first time?'

_No_, Draco wants to say, just to see Harry furrow his eyebrows to sulk a little, or perhaps hear his soft laugh, teasing his inattentiveness.

'Yes I did. But I assumed you would go on with the question you had in mind,'

'Oh. Well. I didn't,'

'Clearly,'

'So can I go on now? I mean, with the question?'

Draco chuckles as he watches confusion and exasperation flicker across Harry's eyes.

'Yes Harry, you may,' he states imperiously, earning a blush from Harry.

'Well, are you leaving?'

Draco blinks.

'I'm sorry, what?'

'Are- are you leaving? Is there a time limit for these things? I'm not exactly knowledgeable about this- '

'Amongst other things,'

Harry tears a clump of grass from beside him and flings it in Draco's direction, who smiles and tries to hold his laughter, as he watches Harry sit up and hug his knees.

'Harry- '

'I was serious,'

Draco tilts his head to get a better view of Harry's face, and catches the sight of grim lips, downcast eyes.

'I know Harry. I'm sorry,'

He moves closer, placing a translucent hand on Harry's knee.

'I can't, even if I wanted to,'

'Why?'

'My body is gone, yes. But- but my soul- '

'Draco?'

'But. My soul. My soul is still here,'

The wind blows, singing soft rustles and hushed whispers. Draco wishes he could drown in them. His hand leaves Harry's knee, and he settles himself into a sitting position beside Harry, still not looking at him.

'For how long?'

'For as long, as its held on by- '

'Me?'

'Yes,'

'Why me?'

Draco steels himself before surrendering to something he had always wanted to say out loud, to say it now, when Harry could really listen, not as he sleeps while Draco cards his fingers through his hair, face buried in his neck.

'Because I gave myself to you,'

Harry's expression doesn't soften as Draco expects. The eyes harden, and flash with something like determination. And want.

'What if I want it forever?'

Draco turns his face to look impassively into Harry's eyes, and he sees everything in the reflection that they hold. Harry's pain, and Draco's grey. The blurred lines that currently hold the both of them together.

'Then I will be here, forever,'

'Good,' Harry replies harshly, wiping his eyes and nose with the sleeves of his shirt, leaning back to lie down again.

'Harry,'

Harry turns onto his side, away from Draco, his shoulders shuddering.

'Harry. Please listen to me,'

'I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to hear it,'

'Harry- '

'Stop. I've got my answers. It'll be okay,'

'Harry its not okay,'

'It is. You'll be here. Everything will be fine,'

Draco feels angry and utterly, absolutely lost. He wants to shake some sense into Harry, remind him of-

'It is not fine,'

'Its is- '

'-_not_. I don't want forever Harry, I'm _dead_. Harry, I'm fucking translucent and I can't do anything about it. There is nothing left of me for you to keep,'

'There is,'

'You can't carry on like this- you have to let go of me,'

'No,'

Draco stares at the grass under his hand, turned shimmery green. _Harry's eyes_, he thinks, and he worries about how they would shine too brightly with unshed tears when he leaves properly this time. He wonders absently how he would leave then, like a dissolving wisp of air, or perhaps in a poof of smoke? He shakes his head, smiling wanly to himself, studiously refusing to look at Harry, who has turned to face him now.

'I can't,'

'You'll just have to force yourself to,'

'I can't Draco. I bloody can't! Why do want to leave, when you can stay here,' _with me_, Harry trails on desperately in his head. He feels sick and tired and full of strange emotions he cannot understand.

'Because I don't want to see you like this,'

'Like how, precisely,'

'I don't want to see you so perfect and not be able to touch you,'

Harry feels the brush of cold fingers running across his hair, and shivers.

'I don't want to see you cry after your nightmares,'

Harry tilts his head into Draco's hand, which rests on his jaw.

'And not be able to catch your tears,'

The wind carries on, as Harry watches his tears drip steadily from his chin, through Draco's hand and onto his lap. It seems foolish, he knows, but it is all he has. And all he ever wants. He feels the brush of Draco's fingertips on his cheek, cold, and _constant_.

'I can live like this,' he murmurs, wide eyes trying to catch Draco's.

'Harry,'

'I can,'

For that moment, everything rests, the leaves are no longer dancing with each other and the sky darkens with orange. Harry watches the last sunlight catch a glint of Draco, making his edges glitter silver. For that moment, they are just Draco and Harry again, so different and together, and Draco watches Harry in silent joy, joy he won't be able to touch, joy he can't protect, a joy they couldn't share together.

But it is _there_, and that could be enough.


End file.
